Are you happily married? Of course you are. You wouldn’t trade your husband or wife for anything in the world. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned after almost losing my wife (due to my affair), it’s that married people rarely live “happily ever after.”
You can debate this if you want, but you know I’m right.
For starters, who among us doesn’t know 2 or 3 couples whose marriages didn’t last but for a few years? And I’ll wager a guess that most of your children’s friends come from families whose mommies and daddies are divorced. Am I right?
Let’s take it a step further.
If marriage is easy, then why have so many books been written on how to restore them? The web is the same. Websites like HitchedMagazine show us “7 Ways to Make Your Marriage Last Longer” and “8 Ways to Revitalize Your Sex Life.” Even churches, For Christ’s sake, spend an inordinate amount of time reminding husbands and wives of their “sacred vows” to each other. As they well should! If you’ve sat in on a men’s church group lately, you know it’s all about keeping your marriage “Fireproof.” (i.e. resisting the urge to spank your monkey while watching hot lesbian action on a computer screen.)
But you’re not buying this, are you?
GULFPORT, Miss. (AP) – Two states known for their ties to
religion are among the top three states in the number of people who subscribe to online pornography sites. Utah is number one, Alaska is second and Mississippi is number three in a study that looks at who buys online porn. Availability and anonymity may be two reasons people in those three states may turn to online porn. Study author Benjamin Edelman says the more difficult it is to get adult entertainment, the more likely people are to get their jollies online. And a religious organization that fights obscenity in the media says people in small towns are reluctant to go into stores that sell adult material, because someone might identify them, especially in areas where there are close religious ties.
My point is, no matter how much we vow to love someone, humans are fickle. We always want more. We always want different. And even if marriage partners don’t act on these wants, most dream it. By spanking it.
Complicating matters is the fact that most people change over time. And oh we change! The young groom who carries his bride across the threshold is not the same man he was twenty years later. Nor is his bride the same woman. English novelist William Somerset Maugham wrote, “We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.”
Don’t get me wrong. I love my wife, and I’m starting to like being married again. Starting to like. But it’s taken me twenty years (and one affair) to truly understand what marriage is about. Death to self. Resistance to change. Fighting the “monster” (routine) that devours everything in its path.
What others before me have said about marriage.
tv explorer 