Cheat. Get caught.
That’s all you need to do, right? No. Not exactly. Believe it or not, most marriages are stronger than that.
Sure, the “injured spouse” doesn’t take kindly to their partner’s infidelity. Everything you’ve heard about the hell-fire that ensues is true. But depending on the remorse-level of the offending spouse, that is, their willingness to “make things right,” even broken marriages can heal in time.
That’s where I blew it.
For months upon months, I walked around like a teenage boy whose girlfriend dumped him. I couldn’t eat or sleep. And no matter what reassurances I gave my wife, I had the look of a lovesick puppy on my face.
That’s how you kill a marriage.
You see, contrary to popular belief, spouses can get over the fact that you had sex with another person. And in trying to process what you did, and why you did it, they can even forgive the lies you told. Affairs, by themselves, can be understood. The fact that you actually cared about someone else, perhaps even loved them, takes a helluva lot more explaining. That’s the marriage killer.
It’s why my words are packed with such poison. It’s why I’m so angry with my former “other woman.” I cared a lot, and I wanted her to tell me that she cared just as much…before moving on. But she didn’t give me that. She wasn’t capable of that. It was all about her. Always about her.
It’s possible probable she never really felt a deep connection to me. I was just the guy who fucked her when her bipolar disorder swung to the manic side.
Now she’s fully medicated. The lithium has silenced the demons in her mind, and she sees me for what I am. Her manic mistake.
I, on the other hand, am left to suffer, with no drugs or therapy to help me through.
God help me wipe this “look” off my face.
tv explorer 